Being a light

Sometimes this world is dark.
Sometimes its not quite beautiful.
Sometimes those around you know Jesus.
Sometimes you are the only jesus they will know.

I've read a quote about that before and can't count the times I've fallen short of living like Jesus.  But the bible tells us we all fall short but it also tells us to stand apart.

The world around us sees many church goers as hypocrites not  for what we need to show.

We need to show grace, love, joy, empathy, humility,  & boldness for others. It needs to be true and from the heart not just for show. 

We don't have to wallow in sin or agree with others choices yet we are to love. I try.

Some of my hardest conversations are when I feel called to explain my convictions. I don't want to hurt others or make them feel unloved.  I want to show God's love to others. Yet we cannot  continue as we were once we dedicate our lives to Christ. Sometimes the line feels thin as to when to speak and when to keep silent. But if we pray and let the spirit lead us we won't go astray.

I hope others bear with me as I try to let my light shine and I hope many join me sharing a love for Christ with those around them.

Dreaming big

I don't really have a format for what I type here because I truly try to only put things I feel God has placed on my heart. I have spent hours in front of the computer screen praying God would give me words to help some one to touch someone else.

 That is my dream. To let the light of God shine out, to be a living testimony, to touch someone who hasn't given their heart to Christ, and inspire them to pursue God.  That is my hearts desire.

It hasn't always been. For years I was satisfied attending services sitting in a church pew keeping my mouth shut and just listening but one day he moved me to want to read more of his word, to do more for him, to be more like him. I called myself a christian when I should have just been a believer because a true christian is Christ-Like.  Jesus never set back in a pew and kept quiet.  Even as a boy he spoke up and taught others. Luke 2 tells the story of when he stayed behind at the temple.

I can look back over the past several years and see that he has changed me he has helped teach me to improve who I am.  I can also humble myself like I frequently must and say he isn't finished with me yet.  I have been convicted over a lot of things and cut out a lot of bad behaviors but I am better than I was and God is still working on me. 
The first step is giving your heart to him and truly saying you are willing to lay down yourself and live a life for him.  At first things that you do that aren't right will be hard to let go, but I know for me know when I get convicted over things it is a joy to change them because it means I am closer to the one that died on a cross for me. 
God convicts those he loves, it is correction just as we have to correct our children here on earth if we love them.  I want to be about my father's business just as Jesus was.  As many mistakes as were made from the garden to now God has shown so much mercy to us all.  He gave the Israelites chance after chance.  His chosen people fell short time and time again then he sent his son whom was rejected and died so we may have eternal life.  All we have to do is accept that life but he doesn't force it on us it is a choice we all have to make no one can get salvation for anyone else.

Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. Phillipians 2:12

It is a relationship no one can build for you. It is personal and has to be.  No matter how bad you want to you cannot get your friends or family into heaven, it is a all about the personal choice they make to give Jesus their filthy sinful lives and be reborn into something better something that strives to grow and be more for him.  We can't earn salvation.  It is freely given but when we make that choice it makes a change in us those around us should be able to see.  I know looking back I can defiantly see the changes in myself and I look forward to how God will continue to mold me!

I want to be different

I have spent my entire life wanting to fit in.

I have always felt like an outsider.

An annoyance someone people just tolerate because they have to.

I always went overboard trying to do things to please others.

I get hurt a lot when I let people in because I love and care too much.  

I don't want to be that girl anymore.  I decided one Sunday morning at the alter at church I don't have to be.
  It truly doesn't matter to me if anyone likes me anymore

My people pleasing days are over. I will now be living my life to please God!

 I am not going to be mean or hurtful because that isn't how God wants any of us to truly be but my eyes are no longer on trying to please family and friends or anyone in the world around me.  I want to live to please God. I want to do what his will is for my life.  Others will be disappointed sometimes but that is part of life. I will walk in what I feel is God's will in my life. 

Two bible verses that have really laid on my heart since God spoke to my spirit:
Romans 12:2 - And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

1 Peter 2:9 - But ye [are] a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:

Those who do not have Christ and many that do can't understand this concept that we aren't all meant to fit into this cookie cutter mold that some want us in. I don't agree with what some others choose to do but they answer for their choices and I answer for mine.  I am merely working out my own salvation for no one else can do that for me. When I feel God lay it on my heart to speak up or reach out to someone else I will and I am going to use what wisdom he gives me to show his love to others.