Feeling pain for others

Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 KJV

I don't know if I am normal or not but I care a lot about others.  Opinions don't really matter that much but when I know someone is in a struggle or battle in their lives-I feel pain.  It doesn't have to be me.  I could sit here and name of three people that I have sat and cried for and asked God to move for in the past month.  I have prayed for more than three and hurt for more than three people but I know for sure that tears have fallen for those.

I have an online friend with her own blog that tells her story. I sat and read about her struggles with cancer and I cried and I cried I bet it was hours.  My heart ached for her.  She is wonderful and upbeat and amazing and it just isn't fair that she is going through all she is.  I never met her in real life-I met her on a pregnancy support website after we had both went through miscarriage.  I prayed and cried with her through pregnancies (three successful ones for each of us and several not successful ones for her two for me).  

I have a dear friend from church that is so supportive I feel very connected to that just lost her father.  I have sat at home and cried for her the past few days.  It hurts me to know the pain she is going through.  

I don't know if I am normal or not but I try to look at my problems as I could always have it worse.  I am blessed I try not to take those blessings for granted but sometimes my kids drive me nuts, I lose my temper and yell, and sometimes I honestly just open my mouth and stupid falls right out. I have so much growing left to do but in the moments I slow down and think of others I feel like I have learned one of the greatest lessons Jesus ever taught:

Matthew 22:36-40New King James Version (NKJV)

³⁶ “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?”
³⁷ Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’^{[a] 38} This is the first and great commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’^{[b] 40} On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

The most important thing we can do is love.  If we choose to love others it is to put them in high esteem to think of them to care for them.  I absolutely do this commandment that Jesus laid out for us. I love it isn't quiet the perfect love that placed itself on a cross for my sins but I do love I love enough that I could name 10 people I have cried for since I cried for myself.  I learned a lesson at church that it isn't about me. It is about God, it is about what he wants and what he wants is 
  
Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 KJV

 
  The third person that I mentioned is facing her greatest trial in life right now and I just keep praying for God to offer her comfort.  I have only met her face to face once but we have shared many happy and stressful occasions turning to one another.  I went to the alter during church service yesterday crying out to God to comfort her and let her know he hasn't left her.  I know her life feels like one of the pages of Job but if she stays strong I know his blessings will pour out on her.  I have prayed for God to give me words to help her and I have sat in prayer with tears streaming hurting for her situation.  I believe God will move for her.  I believe all these verses are going to help her and she will feel God in with her. 

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. proverbs 3:5 kjv

He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds Psalm 147:3kjv

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psal 34:18 NIV



I just want to add.  It isn't only sadness I share with others I share their joy.  A couple that I go to church with had been praying for a baby for years and when I found out that prayer was answered I screamed "Praise you Jesus" and I was honestly as happy for them as I was when I found out I was having babies.  I have felt this joy with multiple people that have struggled with miscarriage or infertility.  Any time you go through these things you tend to find out you aren't alone and with me felt a deep sadness with anyone with these struggles yet that same sadness brings so much joy words can't explain when they find out God has a little miracle in store for them even though it was one of those times prayers were not instantly answered.  His time is perfect, ours is flawed, he knows more and better than we do.  It amazes me sometimes how I feel such strong emotions for others it is like it is happening to me. The pain of others brings me to tears often I try not to question God as to why because I know his plan is better than our plans, I know there are times and seasons for change, I know that God is in control and most of the bad that happens to us isn't to harm us but to teach us to trust in him not ourselves and to listen when he nudges us and teach us to obey him. 

I can say I haven't always had a close realationship with God I haven't always turned to him with my troubles but I can honestly say life is more bearable and I feel less weighted down since I do.  I guess the reason for this is simple I just have to look into the word to see:

For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light Matthew 11:30 KJV

storms

the poem is by my husband and the picture was mine

Being the wife God wants me to be

when I look back on the woman my husband married I wonder why?

what was he thinking?

I was so self centered.

I put my wants first, I didn't have a servants heart, I spoke my mind-rarely in a nice way, I was so in the flesh it was all about me. 

 Thank goodness God has worked on me!!!!!

I am still far from perfect, but I think I am a decent wife now.  It took a lot of time for God to mold me into this woman.  At one point i was the one screaming and pouting to get my way it was all me.
I have now come to the realization is isn't about my way or his way it is about God's way.  If I feel my husband is in the wrong I don't need to call him out and tell him he is stupid which I did I admit I have not always been a good wife. Now I just refer to my instruction book (my bible) and pray for the answer then I talk to him calmly about how and why I feel the way I do about an issue and we tackle it together.
The bible says God gave Adam a helpmate- 

Holman Christian Standard Bible
Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper as his complement." Genesis 2:18

We are here to help our husbands not control them.  I believe the differences between male and female are completly on purpose.  Men aren't as emotional and women are more compassionate.  We are made to compliment one another.
The roles of a husband are clearly laid out in these scriptures 

Ephesians 5:23
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.

to me this means a man is to step up and lead but then when we look further in the word and find these other verses

Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Ephesians 5:23
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.

1 Timothy 5:8
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Colossians 3:19
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

 
This doesn't mean we aren't to have opinions and we just let our husbands rule us with an iron fist.  It does mean we are to work together and he has the final authority which was hard for me to grasp for a long time.  Let's face it I was not born with a submissive spirit.  I am very opinionated in the flesh and have a hard time not just blurting out how I feel and that is where I am now. I am working on being slower to speak and to actually use wisdom before blurting things out.  We all have our own personal things we fight with and I think God did that so we find ways to fight our flesh and grow our own ways.  My mouth is my downfall it is my greatest battle and the bible has a lot to cover on that also maybe another day to write on that subject.  
The word also tells wives how to act.Examples of this:

Titus 2:5 ESV

And so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

1Corinthians 7:3-9 ESV

The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.  

1PETER3:1-6 ESV

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 

I feel like the verse in peter doesn't mean you can't fix your hair and look nice it means work on your inside before your outside!  Let God change you into what you are meant to be for his purpose.

 A deep study into proverbs 31 will def help learn what the good I recommend this one:
 Proverbs 31 study

I still learn with time about being married but I watch other christian examples I have in my life and learn from their examples.  Things I have learned are many but here are a few-I do not publicly put my husband down, I treat and show him with respect,  I don't keep things that really bother me from him, and I pray with him.  We joke around and tease one another a lot but we keep respect there.  We try to never argue in front of our kids and to keep a united front and stick together when it comes to correction and discipline.  
In myself I was always worried about me and what i want and what I need but with God and the word I have learned it isn't all about me and what I want isn't always right or best so I continue to grow and change and it is a never ending process.  I hope to look at myself years down the road and see this is just the start!
At a service this week the preacher said don't let your past dictate your future and that is so true. For an awesome biblical example start reading Acts 9- Saul was threatening the Christians of death yet he turned out to convert and became Paul, author of a huge portion of the new testament.  We all have the capacity to change and grow we just have to let God change us into what we are meant to be for he knows much better than we do. Until we reach perfection we are all just a work in Progress. He isn't finished with me yet!