He offers healing to the broken hearted

I have sat and typed words on a screen many times and not had peace from God to share my posts so I never published these thoughts that I had typed up.
It wasn't time yet.
I love Jesus and I try my best to live for him and put him first.  Do I fail sometimes?
 Yes! I am human I am flesh and I am still a work in progress.
Am I closer to God than I was years ago? Yes.
Closer than I was a year ago? YES

More than a year ago I stepped out of my comfort zone and went to a ladies retreat with some women from church.  I was in a hard dark place mentally and emotionally.  It was a secret dark place because I put on a front I was okay not letting people know how bad I was hurting inside and how hopeless I felt.  I considered seeking therapy but was scared of the opinions of others. 

Christians who struggle mentally struggle with fear of other followers opinions.  We think we area  failure if we need help to get through something like depression or anxiety.  It may just seem worse to those of us in the fight.  But it makes us feel week and worthless. 

I had went to several revivals and not missed a church service.  I read the word every day.  I watched preaching videos online.  I prayed. I tried to actively speak worship to the Lord.  I raised my arms in praise for all the had done for me in worship services.  I did everything on the checklist but I wasn't being delivered from my broken heart and all my sadness.

It wasn't His time yet.

I knew that God could move and I knew sometimes medical help is needed but I just didn't feel meds or therapy was God's answer for me.  I knew my answer to heal my brokenness was going to be found in Him but what a long year of a journey it was.

I went to this retreat in Pigeon Forge hosted by Sister Becky Ferree Trammell of HE DIED FOR ME MINISTRIES.  I was at the 18th retreat.  When the ladies that lead worship started singing "Waymaker" I started lifting my hands to praise Jesus and the atmosphere of 600+ women praising together brings in the presence of the Lord and He touched me.  I felt all that burden of sadness started to lift off of me and I was free of the hold sadness had on me.  It took stepping into a new environment and gathering with others to free me from my broken heart.  I had to press my way to the front near the altar to walk and move and dance for the Lord because there was a darkness that had been on me that was lifted.  I was no longer bound by heartache.

Had I been through a huge traumatic  event that left me sad?
No.
Sometimes depression hits people this way but not with me.  I knew I was blessed but somehow the lies of the enemy had penetrated my armor and I was in a bad place.  It was a million little things that had me bound down nothing big.  I had a place to live, bills were paid, physically we were all healthy.  So many Christians are afraid to speak out about being bound by this sadness and heartache because it is a taboo subject we are supposed to walk to joy!  We all have those whispered words in our ear by the enemy of how we aren't enough.  And you know he really is half right.  We aren't enough but when Jesus is in our hearts and a part of us then the Jesus in us Is ENOUGH for everything. He gives us strength, compassion, and he works off our rough edges so we can help others.  (If you haven't heard sister Becky preach you should.  She plants small seeds with simple things that you will take with you and remember and grow from).

I personally feel anytime you hear a message from someone truly called and anointed by God that it plants something in you that will bloom later.  You may or may not be able to remember the date and full message but something is planted in you and when you hit a certain situation that word rises up and gives you strength.  It is like a secret weapon we have to use on the enemy.

I somehow let my joy be stolen for almost a year.  I still tried to encourage and lift up others that came my way.  I rarely laughed at anything and kept to my self for the most part unless someone came to me for a listening ear.  I poured out to everyone and everything else I could even when I wanted to just lay in bed.  I pressed.

I had 1 friend I turned to and she had been pulling her way out of a deep pit of heartache too.  Her heartache was spurred by broken dreams but that is her testimony and not mine.  Last November I got my joy back.  I laugh sometimes to the point I cry in joy and oh how it feels to have this deep joy where the deep heartache used to be! But if you have a praying friend and you have a belief in Jesus he will bring you though.  You may have to seek help with medications or a therapist but he will see you through at the right time if you pray and seek him. 

My only clue as to why we go through some of these things is so that we can help others and stay meek enough not to cast stones at others.  I have heard many wise men and women of God claim our trials are to help others and I can totally see that through so much of what I have lived through. 

I pray anyone that reads this finds hope and finds joy in the everyday life that God has blessed them with.  If you are struggling accept the truth you are not alone.  Reach out to someone else.  Find someone who has been there and ask them to help you pray your way out.

On my heart today

I love how sometimes God lays scripture on your heart.  Scripture to lead and guide and direct you on your right path. Several months ago in a difficult time. I kept hearing and thinking on

2 Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:2 (KJV)

 

This can be hard taking on another burdens and feeling the pain and heartache they feel within yourself. but God doesn't want us to be in misery always walking around feeling heartache.  Every time Galatians 6:2 was on my heart 1Peter 5:7 followed.

7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

1 Peter 5:7 (KJV)

 I had a visual in my head of walking around to others and taking their problems on myself.  Sharing their pain, heartache, and struggles bearing that weight then carrying it to the feet of Jesus and laying it down to him.  

 

 

I spoke up about this to my congregation at church and another lady said she could envision it just like we are taking up a wheel barrel full of problems and troubles and we are pushing it around when we are supposed to just dump it all out at his feet. That visual has stuck with me and today the same images keep rolling through my mind-leading me to the keyboard to share. 

we are supposed to go from ^^^^^^^ 

to this:

and when we are done casting our cares on him we are renewed and free from all the stress we were carrying around with us. 

If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.

John 8:36(KJV)

 

People need to know that they are not alone that there is care and compassion around them.  In this modern age of texting, social media, and easy ways to connect we live in a world with higher than ever amounts of loneliness and depression.  So if you read this today just reach out to one person that is on your heart and on your mind and let that one person know that they are not alone that someone here on earth cares and if God lays it on your heart share a verse that might help them in their current situation follow through.  These small things on your heart are whispers of God to you, it's part of his communication to his children, and the more we listen the more he talks!

Think before we speak or type.....

As a Christian we are supposed to be meek and humble and I am a Christian woman who tries her best to be a prayer warrior and friend to others. I try to be humble and I try not to be offended and hurt others but it does happen and when I realize it I try to apologize and not repeat the same mistake.

Just this week I posted a question in a private online community and later read responses and went back and deleted the post because I was hurt over a fellow Christian's comment. We get into this concept that everyone should do things our way and we are the only ones that are right and correct in our lifestyles. In Proverbs 3 there is a wonderful scripture many know:

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

⁶ In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

So breaking down this scripture I am to trust God and lean not into my understanding-not my thoughts not my wants but what the Lord lays upon my heart and reveals to me through scripture.  Yet he doesn't reveal the same things to all who follow him? Then in verse 6 it says we should acknowledge him in all our ways and that he will direct our paths. Does it say every single child of God is to walk the same path? No it doesn't.  We all are to attempt to follow Christ but He works on each of us differently and we are horrible for passing our own personal convictions onto others when they aren't their convictions, but ones God has laid upon our hearts.

The point I am trying to make here is if someone is praying about something and asks a question we should think about the words we use in answering.  Hurt from other believers is sometimes a very good open door for spiritual mind battles to start, and many Christians hardest battles are ones that started from hurt.  
The path and plans God has for that person could be totally different than what he has for us and we need to acknowledge that in our responses.  As I try to teach my children THINK before you speak.

The person that hurt my feelings probably had absolutely no intent to do so, but she was applying what God had planned for her life to the questions and comments I had placed about my life.  We aren't all the same God has different uses and places for all of us we aren't all meant to walk the same exact path if so we wouldn't have a vivid detail of the body of Christ 1 Corinthians 12:

12For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ. 13For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.

14For the body is not one member, but many. 15If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? 16And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? 17If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling? 18But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him. 19And if they were all one member, where were the body? 20But now are they many members, yet but one body. 21And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you. 22Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary: 23And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness. 24For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked: 25That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another. 26And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.

27Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.

So in closing in this world of social media and freedom of speech I urge you to think about your words and how they appear to others, think about if what you are saying is something that truly applies to the situation or if you are just sharing what God has shown you for your path.  

Remainders of faith

Last summer my son was terrified of the dark. He wouldn't sleep without a night light. If he woke up in a dark place he cried and screamed hysterically. 
He walked away from that fear by giving it to Jesus.
At a youth meeting our youth leader talked about things weighing us down. Things that we were scared of and burdened by and how we could give all these things to Jesus and not worry about them.
I love object lessons and at this meeting sister Elizabeth told us children and adults to write down something we wanted Jesus to take away from us write it on a slip of paper and put in a helium filled balloon to release. Then we could physically release our burdens to Jesus.
Josiah wasn't quite 5 yet but he said "mommy I do not want to be scared of dark anymore. Will you write it on my paper."
I learn a lot of lessons from my kids and this is one. If something has you bound down in fear or anxiety- give it to Jesus.
A little later on nana visited and knew how scared he was of the dark before so She asked if he wanted his night light on when she tucked him in.
His response was "no nana I'm not scared no more I gave my fear of the dark to Jesus. I do not need a light anymore."
We all need to remember we can give all our worries to our savior and he will take them from us. He is the one friend always there to listen.

it's been awhile since I shared anything here

I feel compelled to put my love for God out there for others to see.

I hope I can show his love and let his light shine through me brightly enough to touch someone else.- The first post I published that was my vision, my want, my desire.

I have made leaps in bounds in spiritual growth within the past year and pray that God lets me grow just as much if not more for the rest of my life. So I have been somewhat down about not having anything to share, but, I have set before the computer screen and typed post after post the past few months but haven't published anything because it didn't feel right.  I would put my heart on the screen but I never published it because I didn't feel it was what God wanted.   I have been unsure of where  to turn with this blogging thing.  I don't want it to be about me.  I want it to be about God.  He is the potter I am the clay.

I want to serve him and I know using my words can very well do that.  I have also been convicted from many scriptures to think before I speak and be wise with my words. That could have something to do with my lack of published posts.  I feel like sharing a little about bible study tonight.

In the past year I have tried to learn how to do more than just read the bible.  It is a living word that transforms you when you dig in deep and that is exactly what I have been trying to do.

Dig deeper.
Learn more.
Grow.
Know God more.

To begin with all I knew was to read and re-read and meditate or think about what I read.  That wasn't enough I wanted more so in the days of technology-I googled it. Online bible studies and how to study the bible,
Cortney Joesph is an author and blogger over at women living well and I stumbled across her proverbs 31 study.  she offered tools called SOAP and an online ebook for proverbs31 study. Cortney updated the method to SOAK in January for a current reading plan. (see her page if your looking for a place to begin and you don't have to do it alone there are tons of accountibility groups out there)
SOAK is Scripture Observations Application Kneel in prayer.

This method has been an amazing tool.  Reading through chapter by chapter in our bible study I am trying to find something I can apply to my life out of every chapter of the bible.  I'm sure there will be some repeats after all money is mentioned numerous times, love, fear, joy, and many other big subjects.  In our current study of exodus I have read multiple times of God wanting the offerings to him to be from WILLING hearts.

God is all powerful but he wants all of us just to choose him and choose his will and if it isn't his will for me to share my thoughts I don't want to share them.  It isn't about me it is about his glory.
I dream of something I say uplifting someone and turning their heart to the Lord but it isn't because I want a gold star.

 I want to touch others so they can know God like I am getting to know him.  To feel his peace when things aren't going well.  To day by day grow more.  I'm not perfect I fail daily but I can see how God has grown me.  I want others to feel that and know our heavenly father and put their trust in him.

So many are against the churches and Christians because they view many of us as hypocrites and think we are judgemental and I am striving to find that beautiful place where I can reach out to the world and not point out anyone's flaws and not pass on judgements but give them love like Jesus did and let him convict and change them as he has me.

I'm not perfect-I am forgiven and anyone else can be if they trust their life to Jesus and welcome him in and let him change them, but it goes back to God's want from the Israelites-he wants a willing heart.  Just this week I have gotten that message loud and clear from chapters 25, 26, and 35 in the book of Exodus.  God can't change what doesn't want to change and for many years I went to church and was satisfied just knowing Jesus saved but I am now a willing heart wanting to do something for God.

Being a light

Sometimes this world is dark.
Sometimes its not quite beautiful.
Sometimes those around you know Jesus.
Sometimes you are the only jesus they will know.

I've read a quote about that before and can't count the times I've fallen short of living like Jesus.  But the bible tells us we all fall short but it also tells us to stand apart.

The world around us sees many church goers as hypocrites not  for what we need to show.

We need to show grace, love, joy, empathy, humility,  & boldness for others. It needs to be true and from the heart not just for show. 

We don't have to wallow in sin or agree with others choices yet we are to love. I try.

Some of my hardest conversations are when I feel called to explain my convictions. I don't want to hurt others or make them feel unloved.  I want to show God's love to others. Yet we cannot  continue as we were once we dedicate our lives to Christ. Sometimes the line feels thin as to when to speak and when to keep silent. But if we pray and let the spirit lead us we won't go astray.

I hope others bear with me as I try to let my light shine and I hope many join me sharing a love for Christ with those around them.